Thought Disorder

Monday, February 27, 2006

perhaps i'm wrong. sorry.

you know? i feel upset now, mainly because i'm doubting if i did the right thing and also my FRIEND is feeling way depressed (maybe not so much of a large extent of depression).

k wait i think is ultimate depression.

have a chill pill, man(:

my friend, life on your side looks way more bleak than mine. uhm i truthfully think every friend will definitely own a part in each of our lives.

today the hunky and cute physics teacher took over JL, and we were all infinitely ecstatic. the sad thing was that he's only a temporary takeover.

sorry. i feel utterly confused and there seems to be something (probably curiosity?) churning in my mind and hell, it really feels uncomfortable.

there, i think you are well out of my mind(:

9:59 PM

Sunday, February 26, 2006

well today i met up with amelia and we just sort of studied and basically updated each other about each others' lives. but time didn't really permit us to really say everything out.

i guess ame's right when she says i should be careful not to ________________ uhm ya. wait i think i should NOT even contemplate it. like, noooo please just scram outta my mind you don't belong there.

anyway that irritating ass (bowen 9?) was unfortunately at kovan cc too and he pretended he knew us for a thorough 10 years, coming over to say hi, looking at what we were doing and commenting nonsensically. uhm and amelia posed as an NTU student. then that ass started laughing like he didn't believe. haha oh man amelia fails as a university student because i'm in secondary school and i actually know how to solve her math problems. that ass was a little, disconcerted? but of course he didn't really absorb it. he's a total twit.

i did my LA essay.(: i mean, i did half of it. but it's still an achievement to boast about.

uhm anyway i'm thinking of getting a new phone. probably the razr, nokia 7360 or nokia 3230? yeah(:

11:17 PM

Saturday, February 25, 2006

hell no it isn't funny.

i reckon my parents were feeling a tad too generous today. they bought a brand new digicam (sony cybershot) and a scanner cum printer cum photocopier cum fax kinda machine.

and god, won't you look at the amount of homework i have?

perhaps i should just stick to being cloudy rather than having to pretend like, hey i'm happy for you when i'm seriously not.

can you comprehend, at all? i guess not.

10:14 PM

Friday, February 24, 2006

the strangest thing that happened today was that qian and i foolishly thought it was a monday and we were discussing about clara going to sing tonight. then it happened that feltay sat behind us and i was like, "hey you going to watch clara sing tonight?" and both ft and fo were like. huh she's going to sing today?! TODAY'S FRIDAY.

omgzors.

another ap day (cause i thought it was monday and the blues started to rekindle in my soul) and uhm was pretty sleepy during lessons especially geography. i swear i was trying to pay attention but i guess i was too lethargic and worn out physically and mentally. ):

and, i love fleachyng's zoo and the menu we painstakingly prepared though it's not finished.

i think chinese songs are cheesy. uhm but i don't know why.

today's a friday.

11:22 PM

Thursday, February 23, 2006

because i'm desperate to get onto my bed to drift into slumber, here's a gist of what happened today.

HAPPY 15TH QIAN(:

we just played bball and chilled around and stuff. during the full court match the guys were like passing the ball to me and shouting "GOGOGO!" which was quite annoying 'cause i truthfully cannot qie and partly because i was drained after so many (failed) layups and running here and there. um but it was fun(X the cake was so delectable i'm craving for more now(: anyway at around 3 gena and i headed to bugis to meet her (boy)friend. hahaha i'm such a huge lightbulb i couldn't help excusing myself or just walking far ahead of them or far behind them. uhm was late for jap. her (boy)friend followed us all the way to the entrance of the centre omgzors.

and it's time for bed.

9:45 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAP QIAN JUN<3

we're gonna make it special for you this year.

12:26 AM

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

yesterday was particularly hot because i could do the math quiz with utter ease so it kinda marked a better start for a monday with the blues all around again. and the day went along pretty well too because we had two free blocks away from LA 'cause assembly time was a tad bit screwed to a weird timing. (:

i had a haircut and i think it ain't too bad. uhm and the worst thing was that i was short of 2 bucks for my haircut. a bit like, um, embarrassing. but anyhow, the girl was sort generous she said it was alright.

yeah so uhm today was half taken away by two tests lined up one after another. the math test today was absolutely bad and the chinese test was equally dumb. they had questions that asked stuffs that we'll never ever ponder. that's not hot.

my chinese sucks. (and why am i taking bsp.)

and i bet the reason why i did bad for those two shit tests was because a particular somebody sitting behind me had a whale of time tapping hardly on my shoulders today.

uhm during chinese test when we were commencing on the first part (which is cloze passage or something), that ____ started to make a whole hella racket preaching and preaching and chyng was going, "SHHHH!!" and she finally withdrew her mouth it was shit funny. like can't you shut your motor mouth for a minute hello we're having a test.

k so it's all idiotic. after school we stayed to play ball for a while and when nat and i were about to leave i decided to skip jap today to buy something of utmost importance. i mean, shop and look around for the thing(s) to buy.

anyway i feel like quitting playing bball since i totally suck at it. BUT i know i'm unable to deceive myself. like i still love bball alot yeah undeniable thing.

so qian's dad gave us an inconvenient lift to kallang mrt and we headed to orchard! we ate some real nice jap food and walked around and stared in awe at the exhorbitantly-priced things. practically drooling. :D i saw my dream dunks and was like ga-ga over it. ): then we just went to almost all the roxy etc. shops in orchard or whatsoever.

we bought something(s) for qian!

it was kind of a pity that we couldn't stay too long at far east. uhm i think that place is pretty interesting and a great place to do shopping (does it sound like me). anyhow, they had three (?) or probably more 77th street shops in just one shopping mall so it's like, wow. nat and i got kinda lost in the building.

i promise we'll go back(:

thursday's gonna be kickass because we have almost (?) everything planned out properly.

10:27 PM

Saturday, February 18, 2006

sometimes i wonder if i'm prepared to face all of these adversities all lined up to bomb me. why can't they go away. anyway, i'm kinda bored of going online daily now. (maybe that's why i appear offline most of the time, unless i'm feeling exceptionally sane or i need to talk to somebody) and the disappearance of an important being has since made it even more meaningless.

and, i love my radio(:

babehhhhh i've finished copying my two long overdued ancient chinese articles. the standard of my chinese as compared to chyng's is like a noob's versus a professional's. ): chinese is just never my forte. i think it's a total dumb irony that i take bsp. i was struggling with it when i went for the first lesson anyway. people are damned appalled that i'm actually in the bsp class. (all thanks to my mum)

sometimes it's just all unfair.

can i even speak?

11:03 PM

and i can firmly say that, i'm gradually discarding you out of my mind. watch me.

10:21 AM

well so nothing particularly interesting happened these few days.

um probably with the exception of running into the white tee shirt guy again! even though the time back then was at or about 8pm on the mrt. not very likely a situation to chance upon anyone yeah?

damn it was utterly stupid. i was like, omg! where in the world can coincidence be borne out by this situation.

anyway, it does feel good to turn in early and consequently waking up early the next morning. oh and i'm suddenly reminded of the homework i must do. yeah gets kinda cranky when i remind myself of that.

school has been bad so far.

uhm, still unable to develop a certain level of interest for the class.

9:56 AM

Thursday, February 16, 2006

you know? i'm thoroughly lucid now(:

anyway, you all should switch the telly on at 10.30pm tonight to watch jiaodian on channel 8. it's 'cause we're gonna appear on tv! okay probably not me, but perhaps my classmates who played 'protagonists' and answered questions. well it's kinda queer like. the tv is sucha huge facade! the teacher (not specifying who and which but you-know-who) was pretending to be oh-so-nice and we were feigning our huge interests in the some particular subject.

whatever it is, we still got the opportunity to appear on tv! i think there will be an occasional panning of the classroom that may include me?! uhm yeah kind of like fat hope. :D i'm just gloating over getting filmed!

and you're just fortunate that the appearing-on-tv-chance overwrites all your bad points.

ps: we even swept the hugely dirty classroom that no one ever bothers to clean.

that makes another reason for you to abandon everything you're engaged in and watch tv for a short while!

and have you realised the standard of my english has been decreasing drastically lately? it's all awry it makes me utterly depressed. ):

so anyway, i think i was just too emotion-ridden at that point in time so my thoughts were just like, wondering off aimlessly?

okay the most sour thing that happened today was that i spotted this girl who was donning my dream dunks and i was practically hot on her heels tailing her and staring at her shoes. i'm insane. um i think i'll update my want list today mentally today(:

oh and i understand the circumstances you're in and am sad that i can't be of any help. ): have a chill pill(:

in case you're still in the dark, MY NOSTALGIA IS GOING REAL STRONG<3

9:23 PM

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

i think it's equivalent to death when anny issued a letter meant for my parents to inform them i've failed to finish my homework, namely the 2 jianbaos and the film review. she wayyyyy too mean. bitch. i think i'll just attempt to complete the film review tonight.

the problem is i can't concentrate.

concentrate!!

can you imagine the horrifying look my mum will wear when she sees the letter.

k so i really loathe many unfair things. like. i don't know. SHOOT ME I'D RATHER DIE THAN PUT UP WITH ALL THESE. ):

and i guess you don't understand. are you contented with these occurences or are you just putting on a pretense. it's like getting largely sickening and intolerable.

uhm so my only solace is here, where bitchings are done.

happy valentines' day. (this is so fucking random)

8:17 PM

sunday morning was so kickass! (X

firstly ame and i had mac hotcakes<3 for breakfast. haha my pre-valentine date with ame! uhm and we sat there and gossiped/caught up a little more with each others' lives. (: ame is cooooool.

went into many random shops at kovan (for valentine shopping!) just as i was fretting what on earth to get for ame, we spotted this matching ornament (?) thing but the sad thing was that one was a phone keychain and the other was a necklace. um and so we decided to do something bad! :D something like swapping another necklace with the phone chain.

we kept lurking around surreptitiously.

we eyed longingly at our target.

we waited for the salesperson to finally attend to other businesses.

and we took action, swapped them, paid, and ran off.

kickass. so now we have matching necklaces! <3 ame. and i promise whenever i'm feeling dejected i'll take out the necklace to cheer me up. (k this is quite queer) haha i think i'll wear it everyday with exception of school.

SO ANYWAY TODAY I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY F_CKED UP. but it was made better with amelia's timely rescue! (:

yeah so i feel so superficial burying all those crazy surging emotions within myself. i couldn't simply spill them all out like it's inappropriate and too, um party-pooping? perhaps you'll just laugh and think, hey you're so dumb. so i'm like laughing it off like nobody's business. K SO I KINDA HATE MYSELF. ): FELICIA YAP, I HATE YOU.

the feeling aggravates when you're totally lost in the abyss of insane mathematics.

should the best way be keeping quiet? uhm at least it's the most practical one of all.

12:11 AM

Saturday, February 11, 2006

stop the shit please stop it it's getting sickening. ):

11:06 PM

wherefore art thou?

millions of random and foolhardy thoughts have bombarded my mind lately, stripping me of the energy and the drive to get down and finish that pile of homework. so much for carpe diem.

feeling utterly blasted when i OUGHT NOT to be. truthfully i've been kind of lost in math and am struggling madly. have been attempting to make the effort to pay full attention and rack my brains for a solution to the problems, but there has been unnecessary distraction(s) nearby that toppled my equilibrium of focus. shit. go away that A1 in math is mine. physics is a long goner. the teacher never made sense. the teacher never succeeded in engaging us about the oh-so-interesting subject.

perhaps, i'm going to stay up and complete some work because i'm feeling infinitely hapless. like a chalk before the whiteboard. ): i owe too much homework.

anyway, hate the 3G. (benign) if i could make an escape...

hate THE CCA. initially it was still semi-dislike but now, i absolutely abhor it because someone keeps yakking on and on about it (even after proclaiming hatred), reeling on my paper-thin nerves. and, I CAN GET VERY MEAN(:

LOATHE THE CCA! i have decided not and never to get involved in outside activities related to the cca (things like dinner and whatsoever). other than those, i'll only attend mandatory activities. full-stop.

i'm extra mean. i shall not talk to you when you mention that cca. about two more years to liberation. actually, i'm not even sure if the day of quitting the cca for good will ever materialise.

i don't care. it will. no 6 years in that cca please. NO.

please do not relate me to that cca. it was just a beautifully interesting mistake i made in my foolish sec 1 years. stupid stupid me.

meeting amelia tomorrow for pre valentine's day breakfast! I'VE SQUANDERED ALL OF MY MONEY IN MY WALLET BABEHHHH but i don't care haha. miss amelia!<3

9:58 PM

Friday, February 10, 2006

stuck in the abyss extending below.

someone, just save me. or shoot me.

i'm just probably on this temporary blip of insanity which, i really hope, will wear off SOON.

tell me i'm SANE I'M OH-SO-SANE NOW.

9:32 PM

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

37 pages of nostalgia is already more than enough for me, but i'd gladly request for more(:

sadly, anny assigned us another 800 word essay this afternoon and it's like dued tomorrow! anny you're too hard on our miserable class yknow. and when we were having lab lesson for chemistry today, the test tube liusu and i were heating exploded! thank god we flinched in time. hahaha.

anyway the rush to complete geog over last weekend was rather futile. like. ours is going to be on friday so why the rush? god i feel like an utter fool. ):

i'm going to read the nostalgia later on after i deign to work on my crazy 800 word essay.

9:34 PM

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

leg cramps in the morning when i woke up. it was hugely painful and the worst thing was that it lasted throughout the whole day. and i feel thoroughly bitchy now i'd like to bitch the shit here.

anyway i have rubber bands placed at totally weird places on my teeth. kind of sucks.

uh so we finally got to play bball today! the class ball is a girls' size ball which apparently was much lighter (good for doing 3 points) and much much stranger size-wise. props to yichen for picking it up now it's finder keepers losers weepers so it's our gay geeky geckos class ball now. (: oops i didn't mention that.

i felt absurd when we played match with another ball, guys' size.

whatever it is, still gotta play bball(:

um yeah so lessons were pretty slack because we got to miss three wholesomely blasted periods of anny. and the class refused to do the compo she assigned us. haha. AND MANNNN I SO HATE MY MAGGOT-INFESTED MORTAL AND I'M BEING REALLY MEAN BUT uh i still think you are an eyesore to me. yeeks.

i think i'll miss the auditorium when we finally move away. so-damned-comfy. almost a perfect haven for resting our lethargic laurels for a moment to watch la films. don't think we can find an identical one in our new premises. <3

oh and jap ca1 was much like a total replica of the word 'failure'. i want to quit so so so much): besides, felfeltay's gonna quit soon. and i'm gonna be so sad. so i wanna quit. i wanna quit.

i feel like procrastinating today. k i shall. i'm going to bed early, regardless of the heap of homework awaiting me. washing my hands off 'cause i'm enervated enervated enervated.

oh and that stupid sensation makes me hate myself alot. it feels like _____________________ and i semi-hate it. i think i'm just being touchy like ______ so it's like. a ridiculous thing. uhm and i'm positive about ___ i don't think it'll ever change. just shoot me i think i'll feel much relieved that way.

9:37 PM

Sunday, February 05, 2006

MAN I'M GONNA BE SO SCREWED TOMORROW):

like. i haven't started doing homework! *points frantically at the 800 word film report* it's 10.50pm now. think i'll jolly well stay up the entire night to finish everything.

but hey i was doing geog presentation, which is like tomorrow too.

status: ENDED GEOG GEOG GEOG. (:

so anyway i chanced upon a ultra cool website that allows us to design our very own powerpuff girl/boy. haha. uhm then we decided to use the facility and have our biofuel man in a powerpuff like manner. (:

my initial biofuel man.

after revamping it..

the website is really cool! hahaha.

Image hosting by Photobucket

uhm yea the one in the ppt. :D

Image hosting by Photobucket

AUDREY'S! mr old ugly bitch.

that is baoxue's new persona. hahaha. uhm yeah so i spent almost the entire of today and yesterday to finish this.

i think i'll just skip doing the film report. ): cause i'm dead tired. perhaps i'll do a little. plus the portfolio cover. did i say i'm oh-so-dead?

10:49 PM

Saturday, February 04, 2006

knock me out.

so i'm oh-so-glad that i have an insane stack of homework): like. everything suddenly seems to be coincidentally dued on monday. geog project, 800 word chinese film review, portfolio and bp cover page, mpp review, math. and there's deadly jap test on tuesday.

pile(s) of homework are never justifiable.

my teeth hurts badly again. ):

anyway today was relatively cool. i forced myself to jump out of bed today when the alarm rang sharply at 5am. met chyng at aljunied mrt at 7am which was amazingly early like wow i was actually earlier for once. before that i stopped at cheers to buy a few stuffs. eventually i went grabbing things mindlessly (i bought snapple :D) and it amounted to 6 over. uhm now i regret.

oh the snapple cover says that it's a real fact that mosquitoes are attracted people who ate bananas recently. haha.

then we took mrt allllllllllll the way to dover and by utilising that powerful map of mine, we managed to find our way to acs(i).(: the strangest thing that happened was that yihui messaged chyng that she had no idea how to go to acs(i) and that she was still at school when we were still on the train. but when we arrived she was already there! uh is this pure magic or what.

k acs(i) was BIGGGGGGGG! and it's like. cool school. much much much nicer than dhs. ditto to the culture and the life there, i suppose.

the lecture was quite awesome. i was so tired (maybe because i woke up at an unearthly 5 this morning) that i kept falling asleep. the videos were really nice. we never seem to ever get to see those on tv when they feature parliamentary sessions.

mayfong and gena went for the lecture too! haha.

after that we decided to explore the school for a while. woah it's cool shit man. uhm anyway we saw mr raja there. the acs(i) boys were having a whale of time hurling water bombs and they were like all over the school. fun.

we wandered around aimlessly and even went to the recreation centre! okay it's awesome too. yeah we're all jealous.

later chyng gena and i went over to city hall because i wanted to have kfc. they went along with me to watch me eat. uhm yeah stupid. bought this pencilbox for felfel and then went around looking for vday presents to purchase for my <3ly friends. hahaha.

i'm lazy to blog. geog geog geog franticism.

6:07 PM

Friday, February 03, 2006

i'll take that back. FELTAY I'M TOUCHED. k so <3 loads.

anyway doubts for "go for ___!".

10:27 PM

OMGZORS. FELICIA TAY ZI XUAN YOUR 'MOVIE' IS SO DAMNED GAY. i think age is catching up fast with me. couldn't quite remember what happened during sec one.

but now i know, now i remember. THANKS TO THE REALLY GAY MOVIE. okay but anyway <3 my japcrappartner. it's been two years! :D

10:04 PM

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

today was pretty kickass.

so anyway celebrations were quite boring like usual with the concert and games. 3g is best because few brought food for potluck (and i was one of the dim-witted ones haha). we're entirely like plah, pathetic. but i liked the new and extremely gay cheer that we ad hoc composed today. it's amusing shit.

by the way i never knew michelle could scream. uh now i know.

qian: michelle is louder than the lion dance troupe.

roarrrrr.

i think a certain someone is positively scary and strange./:

then it was about 11am that we got dismissed from school (without lessons yay) and we gathered all the 2a people and we embarked on our 2a outing! <3 strangely it's like one of my very first. k yeahhhh a little spontaneous but it was pretty awesome. (:

we wanted to flounce off to cine immediately but there were hoards of cab-snatchers around. so it's like. we got jonathan to flag taxis at the other opposite. eventually he got one and we got him to make a short uturn and we shoved him out and snatched his cab. :D

anyway i found out that eugene was named little black in gena's phonebook. come to think of it he does look like, uh little black. so we started calling him that. it's hot.

then we played arcade and had a blast screaming and shouting. air hockey is thrilling shit! rarh arcade is ab tempting. like we had no tokens left but we still wanted to play more so ): kickass fun :D

went to watch i not stupid 2! shawn is CUTE! uhm yeah it's kinda sad and quite fab local flavour wise (like duh i'm also a student). you could hear, and sense, people around you crying. faith was so cute she opened her packet of tissues and started wiping tears away. haha. i think i wouldn't mind watching it again.

after the movie we all went home. it really was still quite early okay i reached home before 6.

the problem is, you're not the you i'm seeking. uh k frankly i'm plain bored and skeptical. and i think talking to you is probably the best thing that happened, i suppose. <3

9:50 PM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.